Homesickness
Information and resources for students who miss home and are seeking to transition to college life in a healthy way.
Homesickness is a longing for the familiar. It鈥檚 common during any sort of transition鈥攃amp, college, moving in to your first house or apartment. For some, it鈥檚 pervasive and debilitating. Homesickness can present as anxiety, sadness, or fear; all natural reactions to transferring out of comfortable environments and in to the unknown. For others, it鈥檚 more of a general feeling of loss for the security and predictability of wherever they define as 鈥渉ome.鈥� But regardless of how hard you鈥檙e feeling it, homesickness is natural. It鈥檚 also possible to overcome. Here are some tips to get you through.
Learn how to identify homesickness
鈥淭he defining feature of homesickness is recurrent cognitions that are focused on home (e.g., house, loved ones, homeland, home cooking, returning home), and the precipitating stressor is always an anticipated or actual separation from home,鈥� according to a published by the Academy of Pediatrics. So how can you know if you鈥檙e experiencing homesickness as opposed to depression or anxiety for another reason? Ask yourself: am I unhappy with my situation because it鈥檚 bad, or am I just missing my old life?
There are four main risk factors for homesickness, the report goes on:
(1) feelings of unfamiliarity brought on by a new experience
(2) your attitude toward the new experience (sometimes expecting to be homesick can bring on a self-fulfilling prophecy)
(3) your personality and ability to warm up to new people and situations
(4) outside factors, such as how much you wanted to move in the first place and how your friends and family back home are taking it.
Coping with homesickness starts with being able to recognize it. Once you do, you can accept it for what it is and move on to actionable steps toward overcoming it.
Don鈥檛 give it a timeline
Sometimes you feel homesick before you even close the door on your old home and embark on the journey to your next one. Sometimes the feelings don鈥檛 hit you until you鈥檝e lived in a new place for months and the newness of your situation has started to wear off. No matter when the feelings emerge, however, it鈥檚 important to acknowledge them and accept them for what they are. There is no right or wrong way to feel about homesickness and no right or wrong time for it to appear. And just as you can鈥檛 control when it starts, don鈥檛 stress about trying to control when it goes away.
Allow yourself to feel sad, but don鈥檛 let it define you
Unlike depression or anxiety from a mental health disorder, homesickness is situational. 鈥淚t鈥檚 normal and adaptive to feel homesick for some period of time. It鈥檚 just your emotions and mind telling you you鈥檙e out of your element,鈥� says Josh Klapow, PhD, clinical psychologist and associate professor at the University of Alabama鈥檚 School of Public Health, in an with CNN. And as such, you do have some control over how you let it affect you. So instead of clinging to what you鈥檝e lost, embrace what鈥檚 new. Talk to your friends and family back home when you need to, but try to focus less on obsessively keeping in touch and more on that can help make you feel more like yourself again.
Use nostalgia to your advantage
Nostalgia isn鈥檛 just about the past鈥攊t鈥檚 also about the future, according to a published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. Don鈥檛 consider the past something that your present or future can鈥檛 live up to. Instead, look at the most positive aspects of what you鈥檝e left behind and figure out ways to recreate them in your new context. Did you love playing on a recreational sports league at home? Consider joining an intermural sport here. Miss watching a favorite show with friends? Invite some of your new acquaintances to come to your room to watch a show some night this week. Use your nostalgia to look for clues about what makes you feel happy in your home, and use those things as guidelines for creating a better today and tomorrow.
Build a network
Keep your old friends, but make new ones, too. It鈥檚 important to establish a circle of support when you鈥檙e in a new place, especially if you鈥檙e dealing with feelings of loneliness or anxiety. Not sure where to start? Look for ways to build relationships around commonalities, for example getting involved in a social activity or volunteer opportunity that speaks to something you鈥檙e passionate about. There are lots of ways to feel more connected to your new environment, and having people you can talk to and rely on there is one of the biggest.
Create new routines and transitions
Make an effort to establish new ways of living that both differentiate your new living space from your old one and make it feel more familiar. Even something as simple as finding a favorite breakfast place for the weekends, or a place to take yoga classes, is a positive step toward putting down some new roots. As your new traditions become commonplace, so too will your life in your new area.
Get out of the house
Feelings of isolation will only exacerbate homesickness. While your new room may feel like a safe haven in a sea of unfamiliarity, it can just as easily become a trap that keeps you from fully experiencing what鈥檚 around you. Make a conscious choice to get out and about every day to engage with your new environment. Try out a few clubs, visit local attractions, or even just walk around campus and downtown to see what鈥檚 there. The more time you spend out of your room, the more time you鈥檒l spend out of your head (and the quicker you鈥檒l adapt).
Stay healthy
Taking care of yourself physically is always important, but especially so if you have an additional stressor like homesickness. , in turn helping you feel better during a transitional period. As an added benefit, it鈥檚 easy to take exercise out of the home and combine it with other things that help alleviate homesickness, such as meeting new people and getting outside.
Keep a journal
Writing down your thoughts is an excellent way to work through them and identify patterns of distress. If it helps, give yourself writing prompts, such as 鈥渨hat I miss about home鈥� or 鈥渉ow my homesickness makes me feel.鈥� Then write truthfully, without censoring your thoughts. The goal isn鈥檛 to wallow, but to untangle how you feel so that you can better communicate it to yourself. Don鈥檛 stress if you鈥檙e having a tough time staying positive. While the goal of journaling about homesickness is to help alleviate it, there鈥檚 no use denying how you鈥檙e feeling in the moment. Use what you write as a foundation for making changes, looking for the specific things that are getting you down the most and then thinking of ways to combat them.
(The above tips were adapted from Moving.com)
VIDEOS
Brief Overview of Homesickness in College by Lancaster University
10 Steps to Dealing with Homesickness
TIPS & INFORMATION
8 Apps for Staying Connected to Home and Exploring Your New Environment
Personal Account of Overcoming Homesickness 鈥� The New York Times
9 Tips for Coping with Homesickness
8 More Tips for Coping with Homesickness